My family, all 18 of us, recently went Up North, Michigan to have a small memorial in honor of my Dad who passed unexpectedly in September 2019. My family has been traveling Up North ever since I was baby, actually ever since my mom was a baby. It has always held an incredibly special place in all of our hearts. My dad loved being up there, it was always time to spend as a family away from home, work, electronics, and other distractions.
While up there we went to a few of Dad’s, (well really all of ours) favorite places. The first was the pier in Harbor Springs, down the dock. We took time to remember dad, the things he taught us all, and the amazing memories he and my mom gave us. We each said something in honor of Dad, and at the end took a picture all together. We have a picture of us four Perna children on the same dock many years ago, and it is amazing to look at the photos and see how much we have each grown and where we are today in our lives. I know Dad was with us, and proud to see us all together in our favorite spot.
Here is what I wrote in honor of my Dad:
DADDY: We all know that dad prided himself most on his wife and family. The time we spent together, the laughs we shared, the quality time he got with just mom, and watching all of our families grow. Daddy and mom gave us good happy memories to last a lifetime. Dad was a proud man. He always had confidence in himself, his actions and his work. But most of all, all of us. He was always bragging about us to other people, trying to help us with our fields of work, writing articles about us for the newspaper, telling everyone how he and mom had the cutest grand babies, and wanting to spend quality time with us to learn and hear everything going on in our lives. He was so proud of the life he and mom created and worked so hard for. That’s what I miss... I miss having dad as a cheer leader, a confidant, someone to reassure me, someone to share things with. Someone who I knew no matter what he would give me an opinion of love, -and probably the first few steps he thought I needed to make. I miss receiving emails wishing me good luck, him answering the phone saying “well how’d it go”, and conversations at the dinner table where he would look around and say “very nice, you should be proud”. Daddy being gone for almost a year now has missed a lot, from house renovations, to new jobs, sporting events, sweet pregnancy announcements, other losses, holidays, a pandemic, broken bones, surgeries, pregnancy losses, new homes, beautiful births, sacraments, birthdays, dance recitals, and now family vacations. Daddy always said that we would miss him when he was gone and he was right. We all miss him. We all feel it in our hearts and in our bones everyday. But when I feel it so hard it hurts I try to think of what else he always said and that was to be there for each other because it’s all we have in the end. That’s the part I want to concentrate on most. To be there for all of you. To celebrate you, listen to you, help you, cry with you and no matter what love you all. I want to continue dads pride in all of us today and always. Because that is the legacy that he has left behind for me and for all of us. To have pride in ourselves and our family, and I know that it makes daddy so proud to see us all here today together. I love you all and I’m proud of you and us as a family. Love you daddy.
The second place we went to memorialize my Dad was a small waterfall in Petoskey, Michigan. You have to walk down a huge staircase to get down to the waterfall, but it is breathtaking and so peaceful once you get your breath back from the steps. Here my mom shared some touching words about my dad, that meant so much to hear. We took photos by the waterfall and watched our children play on the rocks and in the stream just like we used to do when we were younger.
The rest of the trip we spent shopping, swimming, and of course eating all of the Kilwins possible. It amazed me how much everything seemed unchanged there, still just like what I remembered as a child, minus one of the most important pieces, my dad. As much as we all missed him on the trip I was able to easily picture him there with us because everything else seemed unchanged. He would be eating ice cream in the park and dripping it all over his shirt, watching the grandkids running around on the railroad tracks, ordering coffee with splenda or the pink ones (he could never remember the name), cream, and a spoon for stirring at breakfast, sitting at the picnic table watching the kids in the waterfall playing and collecting rocks, and so much more. He loved to sit back and watch us all running around after our kids, and offering a hand when he could. It made him happy to see us amongst the busyness because he remembered those days like yesterday. So although he was not physically with us on this trip, he was there in memories that I am forever grateful for. We are so lucky that our parents gave us those happy memories to carry on and share with our children. I hope one day my children have just as a special connection to Up North and they can remember the good times we have together as a family.
As I said in my words above we all miss my dad more than words can say, and being Up North without him was not the same, but I loved being able to picture him along with us the entire time. No matter how crazy and chaotic it is with all of us together I know as a family we will continue to thrive, and continue my dad’s legacy… pride in our family.
Love you Dad.
This is a beautiful tribute to your dad. I know he was with us and smiling as we read tributes, poems and even the Cleveland Browns cheer. He was very proud of all of you and loved you all very much.